Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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