bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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