we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
