Your dad touched me again.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I can't turn off my feet"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
