No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
