I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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