Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
