i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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