I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
