don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
