porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You can't special order awesome
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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