Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
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Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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