Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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