The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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