It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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