Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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