Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
