Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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