We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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