Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
