Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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