New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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