A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
