Plan B is the new Plan A
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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