you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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