filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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