Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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