The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
