Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Randomize
