I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Be still, my beating vagina.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Randomize
