oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
