Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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