So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
