Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
