So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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