My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
