Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
