Banned from zoo.
Again?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
