She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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