so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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