But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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