He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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