in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
