Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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