Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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