I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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