one two three fourrrrnication!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
