you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
