dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
