woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
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How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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