i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize