Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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