True but thats because hes a fetus.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
