Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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