Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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