your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
