She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We're too hungover to prance.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
