The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
